36 questions that bring strangers closer

In 1997 psychologists Arthur and Elaine Aron published 'The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness'. Its core is 36 questions in three sets of twelve, moving from light to increasingly personal: from 'Would you like to be famous?' to when you last cried in front of another person.

In the lab the conversation reliably brought strangers closer; friendships, romances and even marriages grew out of it. The method has since been used in hundreds of studies, including on friendships across ethnic lines. 'When I came in towards the end of each set of questions, there were people crying and talking so openly,' Aron recalled.

What it means for you: closeness grows not from the number of messages but from gradual, mutual openness. On a date, try questions both of you will enjoy answering rather than questionnaire ones.