Vanishing is worse than saying no: an experiment on ghosting

Psychologists at Wayne State University simulated online dating: participants messaged a fictional person called Taylor, 'went on' two dates and asked to continue. The outcome was random — an enthusiastic yes, an explicit rejection or silence. Two studies involved 243 and 141 people; the work appeared in Personal Relationships.

Rejection and silence hurt about the same and dented self-esteem alike. But after silence people stayed more attached: they checked the person's social media more and tried to reconnect. The uncertainty kept them from closing the chapter.

What it means for you: if you've decided not to continue, say so. A clear no hurts, but it lets the other person let go and move on; silence keeps them hooked.